Days From Marriage and Wondering If He's The One...
Note: Written in February and never posted! I'm crazy.
You guys, I am officially somebody's wife! I am full of happiness and believe me I did not think I would be. I don't really know how the average girl thinks but I never really thought about getting married or having a wedding as a little girl. I knew I wanted it but never did I think about what ring I wanted, the dress style, or what colors I'd have. I was too busy focused on if the guy would even get passed the first date not if we were going to make it down the aisle. My priorities are high ladies. It aint easy lovin me. I know this. So when my boyfriend started asking me what cut diamond I wanted I started at him blankly. 'What does that even mean?' LOL. Anyway, I figured it out as I always do and today, according to my countdown app, I am 35 days away from wearing my dream dress under the island sun!
Are you wondering how I am already a wife? Well, we went to the court house on Valentines Day and got hitched. We're, so cute, right? Apparently it is a royal pain in the ass to get married in another country and make it legal in the states. Our ceremony is taking place in Punta Cana with 28 crazy people who decided to join us. Let me tell you something, planning this wedding has been the most stressful thing. I wont get into it but my fiance and I have actually been in a very rocky place. With a new baby, a new house and a wedding ahead... we have been climbing mountains to find romance in our relationship. As the day of our courthouse wedding began looming I was freaking out on the inside. I knew that my man was the one after only weeks of dating and now I was days away and felt like I had no clue. I called my grandma cause she knows it all. She told me a secret. If you expect the world you're going to be unhappy. Be happy with the world you already have. Just envision a light bulb turning on above my head. I have been putting so many demands on him. The more stressed I am the more I expect from him. Which is totally unfair. My behavior lately goes against everything I believe in, which is, YOU create your own happiness. You can't rely on others to make you happy. This man is only human, not Ryan Gosling for God's sake. I mean sometimes he is or I wouldn't be marrying but NOBODY is that perfect. I felt better but then I knew he and I needed a talk. I sent him these ten questions to answer.
What does a great night look like to you?
Why do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?
Is my debt your debt? How will we run our finances?
What do you admire about me?
What are your pet peeves?
How do you see us 10 years from now?
Why are we getting married?
What do you want out of life as a couple?
Accidental pregnancy, what do we do? One of us gets fired, what do we do? God forbid, sickness or death in family, what do we do?
Define marriage. What are we committing to?
Ladies, the man made me cry. Every answer, except the first, was everything that I feel and think and believe. We ARE made for each other and he loves me even when I am being bat shit crazy! And the one answer that was different was question one, cause we're different people and that's ok. Some of these questions I had never thought to ask and shame on me for not and some we had discussed years ago and it was just good to hear again. It was everything and every anxiety and nerves I had just slipped away and I am so happy. So my advice, call your grandma and ask him some questions. If they're not in line or he's just a total jerk, run!!