Pain is inevitable but we all fear one weapon in particular that penetrates the deepest. For me it's the weapon that forms against my character. Not just anyone can cut me there. Most people just slice the air but when the person coming at me is one that I love... it cuts to the bone.
This week I got stabbed. Not literally, people. A friendship that I hold dear to my heart had recently come to a halt and when we finally got together to hash it out, I got hashed. She let me know that I had not been giving anything to the relationship. I lost my words. My body was kidnapped and refused to fight or flight. My purpose for living is to give and to be told I was failing, crushed me.
Days later, I got to thinking. One, in my attempt to give I end up giving myself toward too many things. As a result I ultimately have nothing left of me to give. Women suffer from this often. We are crowned with so many roles: mother, caregiver, homemaker, girl boss, friend, daughter, partner/wife. I realize men carry these roles as well but women are natural thinkers. We are also naturally sensitive. Although these qualities are beautiful they also add weight to everything we are trying to accomplish. It gets tough to be the best you can be on a daily (or minute by minute) basis. I realize I need to slow my steps. Find a new pace so I can give the best of myself to everyone around me.
Two, I need to remember the basics of human practice. We are taught at a young age that we are to share, take turns, pick up after ourselves and to say please and thank you. In the struggle of "adulting" we forget the simplest life lessons. When you make a mess, clean up after yourself. As an adult these messes are greater than milk spilt on the kitchen floor but clean it up! We tell children they have to clean it up NOW! Don't let it sit their till it's molded and your friend is crying in your face telling you that you're a horrible friend. Kids don't get breaks from their mistakes and neither should we. Humanity has also forgotten how to share and care and to ask and appreciate what has been given. I am guilty as well but we all need reminding. We are not owed anything. Everyday is a precious gift. Everything you own and every person in your life is a gift. Show your gratitude. Let's be five again.
I am reminded of a scripture that tells us to "change and be like children". Always be learning, always be discovering and always remember the lessons you were taught. Wait your turn, clean up your mess and be thankful today. And if you have been ignoring a nasty spill on the bathroom floor, go clean it up. Call them! Make a plan to get the stains out. Life was not meant to be ugly. It can beautiful, if you let it.
P.S. Thank you to my dear friend who had the courage to tell me where I was failing. You can't fix what you don't know is broken.